August 11, 2017

The Have-Nots

I used to see no-one else
Out in the world
With him
My eyes pointed one direction
One solely
Limbs wrapped around him like a fur stole
A cat always making contact
Doting and laughing and holding what little I could
What wasn't tensed
Walking too fast
Keeping a distance
Turning away.
Now all I see is everyone else
Happy coupled
Hands pegged together
A ricochet of smiles
Shoulders rubbed
A tug closer
That's if I notice anyone else at all any more.
I don't seek out eyes
I have nothing to say
So little to offer
An attractive young thing claps eyes on mine
And the look is held
Too long to be casual
In another life I may have been interested
Turned open eyes to open mouths
Blushed in the flattery
But I stare at him like a ghost
A female remnant haunting the streets
Slowly, casually, coolly hurtling towards nothing
Until I'm ready to stare back at someone
Some very faraway day
When I can feel the sun again
Something more than this neverending cold.

A Visit

I dreamed of him
In shadow hours
Light of my life
Holding
Staying
Pulling me to him
No more war or wanting
Just home
Safe home
And I woke too quickly
Coughing
Searched for water
Fever sweating
Closed my eyes to nothing
He was gone.