Germanic genital RANT

I am frequently amazed by confident drunk guys who nod and smile at everything you say and flush you with compliments in between telling you how you should think and act because you are wrong about basically everything. I'm sorry, but it's hard to have my entire personality mansplained by someone who keeps pointing their dick at me like a compass needle poking north. I can't be awe-inspiring one moment and literally the next an example of a misguided fool who hasn't read their non-existent book. Err on the side of caution - once I'm no longer a dazzling, manic, Germanic genital, those traits you disapprove of will be all there is, so back the fuck away. You can't spend a night making a woman feel physically uncomfortable then point out her traits that make you morally uncomfortable. You don't get to say what goes on a pizza you try to steal.